Alright, raise your hand if you’ve ever struggled with life? From working, to raising kids, building your empire, remembering to take your car in for it’s overdue service, posting on Instagram, managing quarterly taxes, eating your veggies, eating normal food in general, and fulfilling your promise to use your gym membership before your year-pass runs out… With all these distractions, no wonder finding balance is so hard.

Is it just me, or is the glorification of busy just totally exhausting? As a creative, I say YES to just about everything that comes my way. I find myself taking on new projects left, right, and centre and next thing I know I’m nodding off at my desk and the coffee in my cup has gone completely cold.

For those of you that don’t know, as much as I’d love to be a blogger and wedding planner full time, I work Monday-Friday at my corporate job because I’m just not there yet. The reality is that sometimes I feel like I should quit because I’ve lost all my momentum. The guilt is real my friends. And then I had a revelation while reading Emily Ley’s Grace Not Perfection. She wrote:

“When we are weak, we aren’t our best selves. We can’t draw water from an empty well. And when we are empty, we’re good for no one.” Emily Ley, Grace Not Perfection

That was all I needed to hear.

Maybe you haven’t finished editing photos you took for your client last week. Maybe you haven’t made any progress on the book you’re writing, or the website you’re updating. But guess what? It’s OK. Give yourself a break to fill your tank. We all have moments of feeling completely burnt out. Instead of being a hero and trudging though the already deep mud, stop for a second and allow yourself to re-fuel. Everything and everyone can wait.

Finding balance looks different to everyone. Depending on your routine, allow yourself to refuel one day a week. A hot bath with my favourite candles can do wonders for me at the end of a busy week. If baths aren’t your thing, give yourself a one hour coffee break, before picking the kids up from school, meet up with an old friend over a bottle of wine, or grab some headphones and go for a walk to your favourite Spotify playlist.

Find your balance, everything else can wait.

What is the hardest part about finding time for yourself? If you could press pause on life right now, what would you during that precious time?

Today I wanted to talk on a more serious note about something that I think we all have experienced at some point in our lives. It comes in many shapes and forms and grows in size as we give in to it. Like many uncomfortable things in life, it can be hard to talk about, especially if we want others to perceive us as confident and unflawed. It’s the big, nasty, f-word. Fear.

I have a love/hate relationship with this word. I hate the stigma that surrounds fear because fear does not look the same to me as it does to you. Likewise, you should know that you do not have to justify the validity of your fears. But what I love about fear is that we ALL live with it, we ALL feel it, and we ALL deal with it. You know that girl on Instagram with the seemingly perfect life? She lives with fear. You know your best friend who you think has it all together? She lives with fear. They all live with fear. The bottom line is… we all have fear.

So now that you know that you are NOT alone when it comes to living with fear, I want to help you cope with it.

1. Name It

Alright, so let’s start by naming the beast. I’ll start:

I’m afraid of being misunderstood. I have a fear of not being liked for who I am. I’m fearful of being judged while I pursue my dreams.

Think of what exactly it is that you are fearful of. Is it caused by insecurities? Is it something you can control? Whatever it is, being able to put your finger on it will help identify the fear when it affects us most. When you have identified it, it’s no longer unknown and illusive. It’s out there in plain sight for us to get a little bit more comfortable with.

2. Own It

This part is really important. By owning your fears, you take away its power to control your life. In theory it sounds simple, but it requires a ton of bravery and courage which I KNOW you have no shortage of. Owning your fears says “Hey, I might be afraid of this, but I’m going to do it anyway.”

In order to fully own your fears, you need to be okay with exposing them. There’s an undeniable power that comes from exposing these raw parts of ourselves and not letting them slow us down. In other words, owning your fears is complete badassery and the world should watch out.

3. Share It

You might be thinking I’m crazy. Why would I want you to share something that makes you vulnerable? That’s just it, because it makes you vulnerable. We are drawn to vulnerability because it’s real and authentic. By sharing your fears with others, a few amazing things happen. First of all, it opens up a meaningful conversation beyond the surface. Believe it or not, people care about how you’re really doing and they will listen.

Secondly, there’s a very good chance that someone else shares the very same, or very similar fears that you have. Starting a conversation with someone who you share a common (or uncommon) fear with is a recipe for deeper connections. In a world fed by automated Instagram comments, like4like, and bots, it’s becoming harder and harder to find deep and meaningful connections.

And lastly, share your fears because in the end, we are more alike than we are different.

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What are your greatest fears? How have you tried to own your fears? Tell me about your experiences in the comments