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conquering fear

Today I wanted to talk on a more serious note about something that I think we all have experienced at some point in our lives. It comes in many shapes and forms and grows in size as we give in to it. Like many uncomfortable things in life, it can be hard to talk about, especially if we want others to perceive us as confident and unflawed. It’s the big, nasty, f-word. Fear.

I have a love/hate relationship with this word. I hate the stigma that surrounds fear because fear does not look the same to me, as it does to you. Likewise, you should know that you do not have to justify the validity of your fears. But what I love about fear is that we ALL live with it, we ALL feel it, and we ALL deal with it. You know that girl on Instagram with the seemingly perfect life? She lives with fear. You know your best friend who you think has it all together? She lives with fear. They all live with fear. The bottom line is… we all have fear.

So now that you know that you are NOT alone when it comes to living with fear, I want to help you cope with it.


1. Name It

Alright, so let’s start by naming the beast. I’ll start:

I’m afraid of being misunderstood.

I have a fear of not being liked for who I am.

I’m fearful of being judged while I pursue my dreams.

Think of what exactly it is that you are fearful of. Is it caused by insecurities? Is it something you can control? Whatever it is, being able to put your finger on it will help identify the fear when it affects us most. When you have identified it, it’s no longer unknown and illusive. It’s out there in plain sight for us to get a little bit more comfortable with.

2. Own It

This part is really important. By owning your fears, you take away its power to control your life. In theory it sounds simple, but it requires a ton of bravery and courage which I KNOW you have no shortage of. Owning your fears says “Hey, I might be afraid of this, but I’m going to do it anyway.”

In order to fully own your fears, you need to be okay with exposing them. There’s an undeniable power that comes from exposing these raw parts of ourselves and not letting them slow us down. In other words, owning your fears is complete badassery and the world should watch out.

3. Share It

You might be thinking I’m crazy. Why would I want you to share something that makes you vulnerable? That’s just it, because it makes you vulnerable. We are drawn to vulnerability because it’s real and authentic. By sharing your fears with others, a few amazing things happen. First of all, it opens up a meaningful conversation beyond the surface. Believe it or not, people care about how you’re really doing and they will listen.

Secondly, there’s a very good chance that someone else shares the very same, or very similar fears that you have. Starting a conversation with someone who you share a common (or uncommon) fear with is a recipe for deeper connections. In a world fed by automated Instagram comments, like4like, and bots, it’s becoming harder and harder to find deep and meaningful connections.

And lastly, share your fears because in the end, we are more alike than we are different.

Conquering Fear // femmesociety.ca
What are your greatest fears? How have you tried to own your fears? Tell me about your experiences in the comments. Have a lovely week everyone! xo
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my rory gilmore moment

Hello sweet friends! Femme Society has been a little quiet lately but for good reasons, I promise! I recently reached a pivotal chapter in my life. Well actually, a few significant chapters – all at once. Just last month my student life finally came to a close as I graduated with my degree – something I worked so hard for yet wasn’t really ready for it to end. Going on that thought, I’ll share a story with you.

My Rory Gilmore Moment - Graduation Day - www.femmesociety.ca

Ever since I was a teen I dreamed about being my high school class Valedictorian. I wanted everyone to know that they were special and that their hard work was so going to pay off. That was my dream. A dream that never came true because when it came to the voting round, I wasn’t chosen. Heartbroken, I moved on and tried to find the silver lining. I also dreamed about going to university, studying in a field I loved, and eventually doing something I loved. So I chose to spend the next 5 years as a student at Thompson Rivers University.

I found myself completely immersed in a world where I could excel at being my truest and most honest self: ambitious, hard working, and completely infatuated with learning. And YES, that’s the NERDIEST thing I will ever say… ever! Something that kept me motivated every single day was the thought that I was in control of every little thing that determined by success. If I wanted to make it, I had to show up, put the work in, and suck it up when things got tough. That alone, kept me going. There was no re-do, no pause, no later, no next time. It was an everyday commitment that I either wanted, or I didn’t.

My Rory Gilmore Moment - Graduation Day - www.femmesociety.ca

What I was most surprised about during this whole experience was the person I became at the finish line. Physically, mentally, and emotionally, I came full-circle. One day you’re a 17-year-old freshman without a clue in the world just trying to find your balance, and next thing you know you’re wearing a gold Valedictorian sash and walking (more like strutting) across the stage with your friends and family cheering you on. And yes, I FINALLY earned that gold Valedictorian sash, because the only competition out there is with yourself – the rest is just a distraction. In my speech I gave a quote from my homegirl Taylor Swift who says it so perfectly:

My Rory Gilmore Moment - www.femmesociety.ca

Higher education is something I hold very near and dear to my heart and has inspired me to be the best version of myself every single day. There’s no doubt in my mind that dreams like this can be achieved with an open mind and a gracious heart. Your hopes and dreams are purely an extension of your values and will always be part of your story. No matter how long it takes and how many curves and bumps you encounter, don’t stop moving. You have what it takes. Be fearless, be focussed, stay strong and you’ll get there.

So, my friends, after 5 high school years, 5 university years, 9 semesters, 3 dorm rooms, 2 laptops, 1 diploma and 1 degree…

I finally got my Rory Gilmore moment:

Spring Convocation 2016 Ceremony C June 9 for students in Adventury, Culinary and Tourism and Faculty of Education and Social Work.
Spring Convocation 2016 Ceremony C June 9 for students in Adventury, Culinary and Tourism and Faculty of Education and Social Work.


Thanks for reading loves! Let me know in the comments if you’ve ever experienced a time where you achieved a major life accomplishment. What was it, and how did it change you? How did it prepare you for the future?

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April showers bring May flowers

Hello everyone! So I thought I would do something a little different this week seeing as I wanted to summarize the past month (April) but also keep it fun for you… thus I came up with the 5 things that made me happy this month. I’m thinking of making this post a monthly occurrence with a few tweaks here and there but we’ll see how it goes! Anyways, I want to share with you some simple things that made my life a little brighter and better, because the world can always use some positivity, right?

five things that made me happy this month:

5 things that made me happy this month | www.femmescoety.ca

1. wanderlust

The last trip I took was to Chicago more than a year ago (which, by the way, is an amazing city!) so I think it’s safe to say that I’m way overdue for some travelling. This time, though, my wanderlust is taking me somewhere completely different because on Sunday, I’ll be LONDON bound! Yep, that’s right! Alex and I are jet-setting on a two week trip to England where we’ll be visiting family (Alex is originally from the UK and his entire family still lives there) and checking off all the tourist attractions we can fit in during our two weeks. Not too sure how happy our bank accounts will be (Pound to Canadian dollar conversion is the worst) but the two of us will be happy as clams! Ps. I won’t be blogging while I’m gone but you can bet I’ll be posting a full trip review the second I get back! If you have any England travel advice/suggestions, please feel free to share in the comments!

2. flowers

I don’t think I’m the only one whose social media feeds were bursting with selfies from the tulip festival… Alex and I finally checked it out and it’s no wonder why it became so popular. The Abbotsford Tulip Festival runs from about late March until May 1st and is truly one of the most beautiful sights to see. There are over 10 acres of fields filled with rows and rows of bright tulips; it’s like something out of a dream. I’d recommend going on a cooler day, bringing a lunch, and making sure your phone/camera is fully charged because the photo opportunities are seriously endless. I’ll definitely be visiting this little gem again next year.

5 things that made me happy this month

3. blogging community

I’m still such a newbie to the world of blogging but if there’s one thing I’ve been pleasantly surprised by, it’s the amazing, positive and encouraging community of bloggers that I’ve been surrounded with. There is so much support out there from Facebook groups to Instagrammers and everyone in between. Waking up to genuine and heartfelt comments on blog posts and hearing words of encouragement from people I’ve never met is such a damn good feeling. The blogging community has shown me that even though it’s scary to put yourself out there, there will always be people who have your back because at the end of the day, we’re all in this together.

4. getting behind the camera

This month, I had the pleasure of getting behind the camera not once, but twice! I’m not exactly known for being camera shy but getting professional photos done is another story. Facing the awkwardness and the out-of-my-comfort zone feels of getting behind the camera has turned out to be such a positive experience for me. I’m sure that with more practice I’ll eventually feel less like a deer in the headlights… Okay, even I don’t believe that but nevertheless it was such a great experience working on on getting out of my comfort zone. Here’s a sneak peak of a shoot Alex and I did with Joelsview Photography. I cannot explain how awesome Joel was to work with. He’s professional, easy-going and has such a unique eye for his craft for both shooting and editing. You can check out the full shoot on his blog here.

5 things that made me happy this month - getting behind the camera with Joelsview Photography | www.femmesociety.ca

5. food

What’s a blog post about things that make you happy without a mention of food? I’ve been dedicated to my slow cooker since I got one at Christmas last year so I’m always up for trying delicious and healthy slow-cooker recipes. I recently found one that’s OUT OF THIS WORLD from foodie blogger, Chelsea’s Messy Apron. It’s called Crockpot Mexican Quinoa Tacos and you can find the recipe on her blog here. Seriously people… its the easiest, simplest, and most delicious crockpot recipe I’ve discovered yet. Happy points=100. Check it out and you won’t be disappointed.

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