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finding your voice

How many times has your internal dialogue told you to be more like someone else? These days it seems like “influencers” are in every direction whose voices are so loud, the smaller voices get drowned out. We hear ourselves thinking “Maybe If I was more like her/him, then I’d be more successful.” Sound familiar? With social media at an all time high, we’re hardwired to believe that we should be more than we are. Maybe it’s just easier to copy whatever that “successful” person is doing, rather than finding your voice. I get that. But let’s  turn the tables and remind you of why your voice is one of the most powerful tools you can master in all aspects of your life.

How often have you heard the following statements?

“You shouldn’t run your business like that.”

“You’d be more beautiful if _____”

“Doing ____ won’t get you noticed.”

“You’re never going to see results that way.”

“That’s a bad idea, it’s already been done before.”

These situations are probably at the worst end of the spectrum but nevertheless, society has a way of sending us these messages in very discrete ways. Finding your voice through these kinds of situations can be really tough. Where do you even start? Whether you’re trying to find your voice in your work, in your relationship, or even within yourself, let’s first consider where our voice comes from:

Your voice comes from your heart

When you speak from the heart, what kinds of things come to mind? Use your heart to identify the emotions that describe you or what you’re passionate about. We’re conditioned to believe that we’ll be more accepted if we round out our edges but those edges are what set you apart from the rest. Don’t do away with something because it makes you different, let that part of you stand out.

Your voice comes from your values

Your values are like a moral compass that guide you between what you believe to be right or wrong. In other words, they are basically an extension of what you believe in. Let’s say your values are to be honest and compassionate. Allow your voice to lead with Honesty and Compassion and these values will most definitely be heard among the crowd. And lastly, everyones values are different so don’t be afraid to let yours shine through.

Your voice comes from authenticity

This point, in my opinion, is the most important. I’m sure you’ve heard about authenticity before but nevertheless, according to Meriam-Webster, the definition of authenticity is being “true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character is sincere and authentic with no pretensions.” I speak from experience when I say that being my authentic, true self is what made the difference between finding my voice and being a follower; someone generic. Authenticity is directly tied to being in tune with your heart and your values, so allow yourself the vulnerability and freedom to embrace the beautiful, unique person that you are. Make your voice heard. 

finding your voice | femmesociety.ca

 

Have you experienced a time when you felt like your voice was being silenced or challenged? How did you get back in tune with yourself and your voice?

Xo, Kate

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nasty women unite

 

Hello friends, I hope you’re all having wonderfully lazy Sunday! I know I am. My head is full of thoughts that I want to share with you today so fill that cup of coffee and get cozy!

Sunday thoughts / femmesociety.ca

 

First of all, I am so insanely proud of all the men and women who stood tall and participated in the #WomensMarch around the world yesterday. My Facebook feed was FULL of photos about the march. I literally spent hours just scrolling reading some of the most powerful signs and hearing speeches that nearly brought me to tears. Some of the most powerful were Buzzfeed’s Best Signs From Women’s Marches Across America, The New York Times’ Pictures from Women’s Marches on Every Continent, and of course America Ferrera’s Speech. My love goes out to the MILLIONS of people who marched for equality, dignity, and a future of non-complacency. We are all Nasty Women.

sunday thoughts / femmesociety.ca

Second of all, I had a lesson in confidence and self-worth last week as I found the strength to quit my corporate job in exchange for an opportunity I’ve been wanting for years. In short, I’ll be starting my new job at the end of the month at a university planning events for prospective students. For the past seven months or so, I had been feeling really down about my abilities in my line of work and how I was ever going to make a difference doing what I love. Thankfully my boyfriend Alex supported me like no other and really pushed me to believe in myself. Applying for this job was one of the first times that I took pride in my skills as an event planner and now I’m going to start a job that I only dreamed of having. The whole experience was perfect timing with the Women’s March because it reminded me that we should never should never doubt ourselves nor our capabilities in the professional world or any world for that matter. Anything is possible, you just have to believe in yourself.

 

And lastly, next week Alex and I are taking on a complete bedroom makeover starting with a king bed! After that we’re looking for matching side tables, lamps, full length mirror, and some pretty art for the walls. It’s going to be fun doing this project together but we’re both stuck on designs and haven’t found anything we like in the stores in our city. Friends… I really need your help! I would love to hear any bedroom decor ideas, inspiration, or links to your favourite home sites. I’m on Pinterest so feel free to spam me EVERYTHING!

 

Sending you love and encouragement for a great week. Dont’t forget to follow along on Instagram for daily inspiration! xoxo

 

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finding balance

Alright, raise your hand if you’ve ever struggled with life? From working, to raising kids, building your empire, remembering to take your car in for it’s overdue service, posting on Instagram 27 times a day, managing quarterly taxes, eating your veggies, eating normal food in general, and fulfilling your promise to use your gym membership before your year-pass runs out… With all these distractions, no wonder finding balance is so hard.

Is it just me, or is the glorification of busy just totally exhausting? As a creative, I say YES to just about everything that comes my way. I find myself taking on new projects left, right, and centre and next thing I know I’m nodding off at my desk and the coffee in my cup has gone completely cold.

Finding Balance / femmesociety.ca

For those of you that don’t know, as much as I’d love to be a blogger and wedding planner full time, I work Monday-Friday at my corporate job because I’m just not there yet. The reality of it is, sometimes I don’t post on Instagram for two whole weeks. Sometimes, a whole month goes by before I write a new blog post. Sometimes, I feel like I should quit because I’ve lost all my momentum. The guilt is real my friends. And then I had a revelation, thanks to my good friend, Emily Ley. In Emily’s new book, Grace Not Perfection (which is an absolute NECESSITY in your life and should go buy it right now) she wrote:

“When we are weak, we aren’t our best selves. We can’t draw water from an empty well. And when we are empty, we’re good for no one.”

That was all I needed to hear.

Maybe you haven’t finished editing the engagement photos you took for your client last week. Maybe you haven’t made any progress on the book you’re writing, or the website you’re updating. But guess what? It’s OK. Give yourself a break to fill your tank. We all have moments of feeling completely burnt out. Instead of being a hero and trudging though the already deep mud, stop for a second and allow yourself to re-fuel. Everything and everyone in your life will thank you.

It’s important to know that finding balance looks different to everyone, and I challenge you to find a balance that works for you and your personal struggles. Depending on your routine, allow yourself to refuel one day a week. A hot bath with my favourite candles can do wonders for me at the end of a busy week. If baths aren’t your thing, give yourself a one hour coffee break (alone!) before picking the kids up from school, meet up with an old friend over a bottle of wine, or grab some headphones and go for a walk to your favourite Spotify playlist.

Find your balance, everything else can wait.

What is the hardest part about finding time for yourself? If you could press pause on life right now, what would you during that precious time? Need some ideas for finding balance in your life? Let me know! hello@femmesociety.ca

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