From advice

conquering fear

Today I wanted to talk on a more serious note about something that I think we all have experienced at some point in our lives. It comes in many shapes and forms and grows in size as we give in to it. Like many uncomfortable things in life, it can be hard to talk about, especially if we want others to perceive us as confident and unflawed. It’s the big, nasty, f-word. Fear.

I have a love/hate relationship with this word. I hate the stigma that surrounds fear because fear does not look the same to me, as it does to you. Likewise, you should know that you do not have to justify the validity of your fears. But what I love about fear is that we ALL live with it, we ALL feel it, and we ALL deal with it. You know that girl on Instagram with the seemingly perfect life? She lives with fear. You know your best friend who you think has it all together? She lives with fear. They all live with fear. The bottom line is… we all have fear.

So now that you know that you are NOT alone when it comes to living with fear, I want to help you cope with it.

conquering fear // femmesociety.ca

HERE ARE 3 TIPS FOR CONQUERING FEAR

 

1. Name It

Alright, so let’s start by naming the beast. I’ll start:

I’m afraid of being misunderstood.

I have a fear of not being liked for who I am.

I’m fearful of being judged while I pursue my dreams.

Think of what exactly it is that you are fearful of. Is it caused by insecurities? Is it something you can control? Whatever it is, being able to put your finger on it will help identify the fear when it affects us most. When you have identified it, it’s no longer unknown and illusive. It’s out there in plain sight for us to get a little bit more comfortable with.

2. Own It

This part is really important. By owning your fears, you take away its power to control your life. In theory it sounds simple, but it requires a ton of bravery and courage which I KNOW you have no shortage of. Owning your fears says “Hey, I might be afraid of this, but I’m going to do it anyway.”

In order to fully own your fears, you need to be okay with exposing them. There’s an undeniable power that comes from exposing these raw parts of ourselves and not letting them slow us down. In other words, owning your fears is complete badassery and the world should watch out.

3. Share It

You might be thinking I’m crazy. Why would I want you to share something that makes you vulnerable? That’s just it, because it makes you vulnerable. We are drawn to vulnerability because it’s real and authentic. By sharing your fears with others, a few amazing things happen. First of all, it opens up a meaningful conversation beyond the surface. Believe it or not, people care about how you’re really doing and they will listen.

Secondly, there’s a very good chance that someone else shares the very same, or very similar fears that you have. Starting a conversation with someone who you share a common (or uncommon) fear with is a recipe for deeper connections. In a world fed by automated Instagram comments, like4like, and bots, it’s becoming harder and harder to find deep and meaningful connections.

And lastly, share your fears because in the end, we are more alike than we are different.

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What are your greatest fears? How have you tried to own your fears? Tell me about your experiences in the comments. Have a lovely week everyone! xo
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3 things I’ve learned from moving to a new city

At some point in our lives we experience the adventure of moving. Whether its across the globe for a job or even to a new neighbourhood within the city, people move from place to place all the time. Personally, I love moving and find it quite exciting! I love having new surroundings and starting “fresh” in an environment that’s unfamiliar yet so inviting at the same time. Regardless if you LOVE moving or despise everything about it, moving can be a real shock to the system (especially if it’s a far one). It can take us out of our comfort zones, away from our circle of familiarity, and challenge our definition of “home”.

Having moved to a new city only a month ago, I’ve made a quick list of the top 3 things I’ve learned thus far in my experience. Although calling Kelowna home hasn’t been a walk in the park, these 3 tips have helped me in times of uncertainty while finding my new definition of home

3 things i've learned from moving to a new city

1. take your time

This is probably one of the most frustrating parts about getting used to a new place. Learning all the streets, routes, one-ways, quickest way to work, where to get the best pancakes, what daycare to take your kids to and so on… Like how much better would it be if you could get a manual with all this stuff? Well until that happens, take your sweet time while getting to know this new place called home and you’ll eventually get there. In your spare time, go out and explore and make notes of what you see. Is this city family oriented? Are there inviting public spaces or sketchy places you want to avoid? What are the people like? In time you’ll be able to naturally flow from one day to the next without even thinking about it.

2. find likeminded people

Depending on what your definition of likeminded is, it can mean a lot of things. Likeminded in personality, interests, style, etc. If you don’t know a soul in your area and you’re an avid cross-fitter, try checking out the CrossFit gyms around town and you’re bound to find a group of people you can connect with. If you’re into coffee shop vibes and chilling out with a latte, scout out all of the coffee shops in the area and again, you’re bound to find one that fits with your personality. It doesn’t hurt to make friends with a barista either, just saying. Lastly, I recommend finding organizations that do day-trips to fun places (like wineries in the summer or mountains/ski hills in the winter) and go on a trip that interests you. Yes, by yourself. I’ve done this on a few different occasions and every time I’ve met a ton of new people and made friends I never would have met otherwise.

IMG_0041SUNSET AT HOTEL ELDORADO

3. be yourself

I saved the most important one for last. This one is huge, people. Moving to a new place can mess with your head, for lack of a better term. What I mean by this is that in all the excitement of your new home and starting fresh, there is always pressure, to some degree, to fit in. Fitting in isn’t the problem, it’s conforming to the standards and expectations of your surroundings that can be harmful and may go unnoticed. No matter where you move to or find yourself, never stop being the unique, weird and quirky person that you are. You have a unique set of personality traits that should never be hidden away or suppressed. Always always always be yourself, my dear friend. “It’s much easier to love yourself when you are being yourself.” (Dan Coppersmith)

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Have you moved to a new city recently? What was your experience like? Do you have any tips for adjusting to a new home? I’d love for you to let me know in the comments below!

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you are beautiful

Eyelet and Mesh Shift Dress - Gap | www.femmesociety.ca | Photography by Royce Sihlis

There’s something so awakening with the feeling of Spring. Everything feels so much more vibrant and alive. One of my absolute favourite things about Spring is seeing all the gorgeous cherry and magnolia trees in bloom and smelling the sweetness of their beauty. And like the beauty of a blossomed tree, it’s important to consider how we, too, can nurture ourselves and grow with the new season.

Eyelet and Mesh Shift Dress - Gap | www.femmesociety.ca | Photography by Royce Sihlis

In addition to my previous blog post about my favourite ways to welcome and feel rejuvenated this spring, I thought that Spring should also be welcomed with a little beauty of our own; self-love. With busy work schedules, families, kids, and everything in-between, how often do we stop and take time for ourselves once a day, once a week, or even once a month? I had the pleasure of spending some time last week at a workshop hosted by a lovely woman by the name of Jenny McKinney. Some of you in the Okanagan may know her as a makeup goddess but I’ll tell you, she taught us so much more than the power of false lashes and contouring. Jenny made us feel welcomed but beyond that, she made us feel important. She congratulated us on taking a few hours that day to pamper ourselves by attending the workshop and for investing time and love in ourselves. And most of all, we celebrated the beauty of a group of women coming together, who are more alike than different.

Whether it’s an afternoon pedicure, an evening bubble bath, sipping a glass of your favourite pinot noir, or even a kids-free trip to the grocery store, set side some time this week to do one thing that is just for you. I want you to tell yourself that you are beautiful, that you are deserving and most of all, loved. For me, showing myself love was purchasing this little white dress simply because it made me feel beautiful. 

Eyelet and Mesh Shift Dress - Gap | www.femmesociety.ca | Photography by Royce Sihlis

Spring love | www.femmesociety.ca | Photography by Royce Sihlis

WEARING: “EYELET AND MESH SHIFT DRESS” – GAP
SIMILAR: OLD NAVYJOE FRESHLULUS

When was the last time you did something just for you? Even if it was yesterday (in which case, keep it up!) I want you to set aside some time this week to do whatever it is that makes you feel beautiful, intelligent, safe, alive, loved, and all the adjectives in between. Practice doing more acts of self-love in your weekly and daily routines to sustain your self-confidence and your inner light. Want some ideas for acts of self-love? Email me at hello@femmesociety.ca and I’d love to give you some inspiration.

 

 

PHOTOS BY ROYCE SIHLIS PHOTGRAPHY

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