From advice

advice for new graduates

I absolutely love this time of year. Not only is summer around the corner but it’s graduation season; a truly special season of life for high school and post-secondary students alike. It’s a time when your achievements and hard work are celebrated by proudly walking across the stage, receiving your credentials, and of course the infamous hat toss (all the while your friends and family are fiercely cheering you on). It’s seriously the best. In fact, it wasn’t too long ago I was in your shoes graduating from University after a long but beautiful 5 years. Graduation day was hands-down one of the happiest days of my life. So, from one recent(ish) grad to another… congratulations! You did it!

With all the joy and excitement, it can also be an overwhelming time. I get that. There’s so much change happening at once; new pressures and new challenges competing for your attention. And if one more person asks “what are you going to do after you graduate?!” you might just scream. I feel you. Here are a few tips to help you in the transition as a new graduate:

CELEBRATE

Obviously! Whether it’s popping some bubbly with your friends or going out for a nice dinner with family, take some time to truly celebrate. Spend time with the people that truly love and support you. Even if you’re a person that doesn’t usually like to make a big deal out of things, I encourage you to celebrate in your own little way. Do something that makes you happy. After all, you’ve earned it!

REFLECT

If there’s a time in life when one should reflect, graduation is one of those times. Chances are, the person you were when you walked into your very first lecture, isn’t the person you are today donning your cap and gown. The amount of growth and change we experience during university is quite remarkable. Think about that. Think about what you’ve learned both academically and personally. Reflect on how your views have changed. Think about what you deem to be important or significant milestones along the way. You have so much to be proud of.

SET NEW GOALS

New milestones call for new goals. If your goals remain the same, perhaps consider new ways to achieve them. You’re entering a whole new chapter of life with endless paths to chase and discover, so it’s important to have a little direction to guide you. Whether it’s travelling, graduate school, finding a job asap, or some discovery time, write down your top goals and how you plan to achieve them. Try not to get distracted by those around you on their own path –  just because your friends are going travelling for 6 months after graduation, doesn’t mean you should give up on on your goal of finding your dream job/internship/etc. Everyone’s goals are different.

Once again, congratulations on this huge achievement! Now lets have some fun.. post a photo of your graduation excitement in the comments below. I’ll start us off with this gem:

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finding your voice

How many times has your internal dialogue told you to be more like someone else? These days it seems like “influencers” are in every direction whose voices are so loud, the smaller voices get drowned out. We hear ourselves thinking “Maybe If I was more like her/him, then I’d be more successful.” Sound familiar? With social media at an all time high, we’re hardwired to believe that we should be more than we are. Maybe it’s just easier to copy whatever that “successful” person is doing, rather than finding your voice. I get that. But let’s  turn the tables and remind you of why your voice is one of the most powerful tools you can master in all aspects of your life.

How often have you heard the following statements?

“You shouldn’t run your business like that.”

“You’d be more beautiful if _____”

“Doing ____ won’t get you noticed.”

“You’re never going to see results that way.”

“That’s a bad idea, it’s already been done before.”

These situations are probably at the worst end of the spectrum but nevertheless, society has a way of sending us these messages in very discrete ways. Finding your voice through these kinds of situations can be really tough. Where do you even start? Whether you’re trying to find your voice in your work, in your relationship, or even within yourself, let’s first consider where our voice comes from:

Your voice comes from your heart

When you speak from the heart, what kinds of things come to mind? Use your heart to identify the emotions that describe you or what you’re passionate about. We’re conditioned to believe that we’ll be more accepted if we round out our edges but those edges are what set you apart from the rest. Don’t do away with something because it makes you different, let that part of you stand out.

Your voice comes from your values

Your values are like a moral compass that guide you between what you believe to be right or wrong. In other words, they are basically an extension of what you believe in. Let’s say your values are to be honest and compassionate. Allow your voice to lead with Honesty and Compassion and these values will most definitely be heard among the crowd. And lastly, everyones values are different so don’t be afraid to let yours shine through.

Your voice comes from authenticity

This point, in my opinion, is the most important. I’m sure you’ve heard about authenticity before but nevertheless, according to Meriam-Webster, the definition of authenticity is being “true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character is sincere and authentic with no pretensions.” I speak from experience when I say that being my authentic, true self is what made the difference between finding my voice and being a follower; someone generic. Authenticity is directly tied to being in tune with your heart and your values, so allow yourself the vulnerability and freedom to embrace the beautiful, unique person that you are. Make your voice heard. 

finding your voice | femmesociety.ca

 

Have you experienced a time when you felt like your voice was being silenced or challenged? How did you get back in tune with yourself and your voice?

Xo, Kate

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finding balance

Alright, raise your hand if you’ve ever struggled with life? From working, to raising kids, building your empire, remembering to take your car in for it’s overdue service, posting on Instagram 27 times a day, managing quarterly taxes, eating your veggies, eating normal food in general, and fulfilling your promise to use your gym membership before your year-pass runs out… With all these distractions, no wonder finding balance is so hard.

Is it just me, or is the glorification of busy just totally exhausting? As a creative, I say YES to just about everything that comes my way. I find myself taking on new projects left, right, and centre and next thing I know I’m nodding off at my desk and the coffee in my cup has gone completely cold.

For those of you that don’t know, as much as I’d love to be a blogger and wedding planner full time, I work Monday-Friday at my corporate job because I’m just not there yet. The reality of it is, sometimes I don’t post on Instagram for two whole weeks. Sometimes, a whole month goes by before I write a new blog post. Sometimes, I feel like I should quit because I’ve lost all my momentum. The guilt is real my friends. And then I had a revelation, thanks to my good friend, Emily Ley. In Emily’s new book, Grace Not Perfection (which is an absolute NECESSITY in your life and should go buy it right now) she wrote:

“When we are weak, we aren’t our best selves. We can’t draw water from an empty well. And when we are empty, we’re good for no one.”

 

Finding Balance / femmesociety.ca

 

That was all I needed to hear.

Maybe you haven’t finished editing the engagement photos you took for your client last week. Maybe you haven’t made any progress on the book you’re writing, or the website you’re updating. But guess what? It’s OK. Give yourself a break to fill your tank. We all have moments of feeling completely burnt out. Instead of being a hero and trudging though the already deep mud, stop for a second and allow yourself to re-fuel. Everything and everyone in your life will thank you.

It’s important to know that finding balance looks different to everyone, and I challenge you to find a balance that works for you and your personal struggles. Depending on your routine, allow yourself to refuel one day a week. A hot bath with my favourite candles can do wonders for me at the end of a busy week. If baths aren’t your thing, give yourself a one hour coffee break (alone!) before picking the kids up from school, meet up with an old friend over a bottle of wine, or grab some headphones and go for a walk to your favourite Spotify playlist.

Find your balance, everything else can wait.

What is the hardest part about finding time for yourself? If you could press pause on life right now, what would you during that precious time? Need some ideas for finding balance in your life? Let me know! hello@femmesociety.ca

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